久久亚洲国产成人影院-久久亚洲国产的中文-久久亚洲国产高清-久久亚洲国产精品-亚洲图片偷拍自拍-亚洲图色视频

  Home>News Center>Life
         
 

Mining the past for love
(Agencies)
Updated: 2004-03-24 11:42

This question, featured in a hard-to-miss ad for Classmates.com, beckons the lonely and curious to track down their former high-school and college flames — who, thanks to the Internet, now seem just a mouse click away.

"There's so much on TV now with people trying to reconnect," said Oregon relationships and sex therapist Alexandra Myles.

But is hooking up with your ex a good idea? Two new books give opposing answers.

In the upcoming “My Boyfriend’s Back: Second Chance Love,” Donna Hanover, the ex-wife of former New York City Mayor Rudy Giuliani, says the first cut is the deepest.

“These couples often find that they see each other through young eyes, that they trust each other almost instantly, and that their love is more profound than they ever imagined it could be,” Hanover said in a statement issued by her publisher, Hudson Street Press. The book is slated to be released next Valentine's Day.

Hanover, who married her high-school sweetheart Ed Oster after divorcing Giuliani, writes about other couples who reunited later in life, and how having a past together can enrich a relationship.

But Susan Shapiro, author of the recently released "Five Men Who Broke My Heart," a first-person account of digging up old boyfriends, says the high-school yearbook can be a Pandora's box.

"You can hurt yourself, break up whole families," she said. "One [married] ex was so angry I looked him up he told me he'd rather take out his own appendix than see me."

Still, hearing the fairy-tale stories of those who did rekindle old flames makes the temptation hard to resist.

Lucy Hodnett says she was just about ready at 38 to become a "wicked old woman with cats" when she reunited with her high-school boyfriend on Classmates.com, a Web site that helps people reconnect with old school friends.

"He will tell you, and I will tell you, that the moment we saw each other again, we knew we would always be together," said the North Carolina resident. "It's amazing how nothing had changed — we're wiser, more mature, but the same people."

Her new, and old, beau David was a month away from being divorced when Hodnett found him online.

David Treannie of Oklahoma also found his ex-girlfriend-turned-wife, Sue, on Classmates.com.

"I was single with two kids, just trying to figure out the computer," Treannie relates. "I went to Classmates.com and saw my wife's name. We got to talking — she was single with three kids and also divorced. We got married eight months later."

But in spite of the success stories (more widely reported than the failures), Myles says the probability of a reunion working out is very small.

"People move on and shift and change," she explains. "What we were like as teenagers just isn’t the same. What most people are trying to do is go back to a fantasy they held about being in love, about romance. It's rarely a sustainable connection."

Shapiro, who was married when she unearthed her exes, thinks there are some situations in which looking to the past for love may be worth a shot.

"If you’re single, and there’s somebody in your past who you thought was really good and you trusted, but you thought you were too young to get married, like Donna Hanover, then do it," she urges. "Hanover went to a reunion and found true love."

Shapiro says Googling, attending reunions and sending holiday cards can all be good ways to reconnect.

But if not much time has gone by and you're just a little lonely or bored, or if the person you're thinking of contacting was a jerk at 17, Shapiro says it's better to let sleeping dogs lie.

“It depends on how much time has passed — I saw men I hadn’t seen in 10 to 20 years," she says. "If it's a year later and you're still angry, you might as well stab yourself in the knee. You have to be in a different, emotionally open place."

Shapiro also warns people not to set their expectations too high. Just because one person still harbors feelings for a former love doesn't mean that the object of their affection will reciprocate.

“You don’t want to barge in and be a stalker," she said. “You can’t attach fantasy to it, especially because that person went on with his or her own life. Don’t show up with flowers and candy, or in a negligée. And remember that people don’t look the same at 53 as they did when they were 17.”

But Treannie begs to differ.

"Sue looked exactly the same 24 years later. It was like meeting up with each other in the sand pits again," he said.

 
  Today's Top News     Top Life News
 

US urged to do more for peace across Straits

 

   
 

NASA: Salty sea covered part of Mars

 

   
 

Anti-China motion disrupts human rights talk

 

   
 

Japan nixes WWII labourers' pay

 

   
 

And the Beijing Olympic mascot is...

 

   
 

US sets up copter base in Afghan mountains

 

   
  Mining the past for love
   
  Newly unearthed finds will enhance research
   
  Cell phones on campus prompt debate
   
  Woman happy she kills lover
   
  Onsen 'therapy
   
  Ethics and the little red envelope
   
 
  Go to Another Section  
 
 
  Story Tools  
   
  Feature  
  HK pop star Edison Chen punched by youngsters  
Advertisement
         
主站蜘蛛池模板: 亚洲区精品久久一区二区三区 | 手机看片午夜 | 精品久久久久久中文字幕一区 | 免费的成人a视频在线观看 免费的毛片 | 日韩一级片免费看 | 免费看一级欧美毛片 | 免费91最新地址永久入口 | 中文字幕日韩精品有码视频 | 手机看片国产免费久久网 | 深夜福利国产福利视频 | 天堂va欧美ⅴa亚洲va一国产 | 久久成年片色大黄全免费网站 | 九九热精品在线 | 成人毛片免费视频 | 伊人国产在线视频 | 亚洲视频在线观看地址 | 国产乱子伦露脸对白在线小说 | 亚洲精品久久久久久久久久久网站 | 一区二区3区免费视频 | 国产美女在线精品观看 | 亚洲免费一区 | 一级黄片一级毛片 | 在线成人免费视频 | 男女午夜视频 | 国内精品久久久久影院老司 | 在线观看视频国产 | 久久综合精品视频 | 国产精品国产欧美综合一区 | 中文字幕一区二区在线播放 | 美女张开腿让男人操 | 久久精品国产午夜伦班片 | 久热久草 | 完全免费在线视频 | 香蕉久久一区二区不卡无毒影院 | 久久伊人成人网 | 亚洲精品欧美精品国产精品 | 狠狠色丁香婷婷综合小时婷婷 | 国产成人a大片大片在线播放 | 国产精品福利午夜h视频 | 日韩无砖专区体验区 | 国产精品久久久久久影视 |