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Updated: 2004-10-04 09:22
Men do cry - all over the world

今非昔比,保守的英國(guó)紳士大膽流露感情

Men do cry - all over the world

 

British men are abandoning their stiff upper lips but still do not wear their hearts on their sleeves like Americans, a new survey showed.

When it comes to raw emotion, the once buttoned-up Brits are now happy to shed tears quite openly.

"Thirty percent of all British males have cried in the last month. That is a very high figure," said Peter Marsh, director of the Social Issues Research Center which took the emotional temperature of Britain.

"Only two percent said they could not remember when they last cried," the head of the independent research group said.

Long gone is the "No Tears -- We're British" era when emotion was considered distinctly bad form.

"In our poll of 2,000 people, very few people in their forties or fifties had seen their father cry. Now it is twice as many," he told reporters. "Seventy-seven percent of men considered crying in public increasingly acceptable."

Almost half the British men opened the floodgates over a sad movie, book or TV program. Self-pity got 17 percent crying. Nine percent sobbed at weddings.

Women's battle for equal rights has certainly had an effect -- both in the workplace and at home.

"Men in their twenties or thirties are interacting with women on equal terms much more so than a generation ago. They have to relate to the opposite sex. Women become more man-like and men become more female. That transfers into the work place too," Marsh said.

From the days of Empire, the British have always considered themselves models of reserve, haughtily mocking "excitable foreigners" who show no restraint.

Marsh argued the divide was still there: "We have probably not caught up with the Americans or the Italians when it comes to the actual display of emotions."

"But we are clearly shifting. What we take as typical British reserve has been significantly eroded."

Reflecting on the survey's findings, clinical psychologist Ron Bracey agreed.

"We are catching up with Americans but are not nearly as open as the French, Italians and the Greeks," he said.

"In the United States, there are five times as many psychologists as there are in UK. That might be self-indulgent but the Americans want to know what makes them tick."   
 
(Agencies)

一項(xiàng)新的調(diào)查顯示,英國(guó)男性正在不斷拋棄他們不愿流露感情的性格特點(diǎn),但目前他們?nèi)匀徊荒芟衩绹?guó)人那樣直白地表達(dá)自己的感情。
 
現(xiàn)在,當(dāng)感情上受到傷害時(shí),曾經(jīng)守口如瓶的英國(guó)人也會(huì)適當(dāng)?shù)脑诠_(kāi)場(chǎng)合流淚。

英國(guó)社會(huì)問(wèn)題研究中心負(fù)責(zé)“測(cè)量”英國(guó)人的“情感溫度”,該中心主任彼得·馬什說(shuō):“上個(gè)月,有30%的英國(guó)男性曾經(jīng)哭過(guò),這是一個(gè)很高的比例。”

這個(gè)獨(dú)立研究小組的組長(zhǎng)說(shuō):“只有2%的人說(shuō)他們不記得上一次哭泣是什么時(shí)候了。”

“拒絕眼淚——因?yàn)槲覀兪怯?guó)人”的時(shí)代早已遠(yuǎn)去,那時(shí),多愁善感被認(rèn)為是很不好的表現(xiàn)。

獨(dú)立研究小組的組長(zhǎng)說(shuō):“在我們抽樣調(diào)查的2000人中,40多歲或50多歲的人很少看到過(guò)他們的父親流淚。現(xiàn)在流淚的人數(shù)是過(guò)去的兩倍。77%的男性認(rèn)為他們?cè)絹?lái)越可以接受在公眾面前流淚。”

大約有一半的英國(guó)男性因?yàn)榭戳钊吮瘋碾娪啊?shū)或電視節(jié)目而流淚。17%的男性曾因自憐而哭泣。9%的男性曾在婚禮上落淚。

當(dāng)然,女性在工作和家庭中為爭(zhēng)取平等權(quán)利而進(jìn)行的斗爭(zhēng)(對(duì)男性流淚比例提高)也起到了一定的作用。
 
馬什說(shuō):“20多歲或30多歲的男性和女性之間平等的相互影響要比上一代人頻繁得多。他們必須學(xué)會(huì)和異性相處。女人越來(lái)越男性化,而男人越來(lái)越女性化。工作領(lǐng)域中也有這樣的趨勢(shì)。”

自從帝國(guó)時(shí)代開(kāi)始,英國(guó)人就一直認(rèn)為自己是含蓄緘默的典范,他們傲慢地嘲笑那些毫不控制情緒的“易興奮的外國(guó)人”。

馬什認(rèn)為即使現(xiàn)在區(qū)別仍然存在:“當(dāng)真正表達(dá)情感的時(shí)候,我們可能還是不如美國(guó)人或意大利人直白。”

“但是我們確實(shí)在改變。我們所恪守的典型的英國(guó)式保守已經(jīng)發(fā)生了很大的變化。”

臨床心理學(xué)家羅恩·布魯斯在仔細(xì)研究了這項(xiàng)調(diào)查結(jié)果后表示同意這種說(shuō)法。

他說(shuō):“我們正在追趕美國(guó)人,但是還不能像法國(guó)人、意大利人和希臘人那樣直白地表達(dá)情感。”

“美國(guó)心理學(xué)家的人數(shù)是英國(guó)心理學(xué)家的5倍,這或許多了些,但是美國(guó)人想知道是什么使他們落淚的。”

(中國(guó)日?qǐng)?bào)網(wǎng)站譯)

 
Vocabulary:

stiff upper lip : concealment of emotions or feelings, especially of grief or fear; great restraint or composure(隱藏悲傷或害怕的感情,極大的克制或鎮(zhèn)定)

wear one's heart on one's sleeve: express one's feeling directly and bravely; very easy to get excited(十分坦率,感情容易激動(dòng))

raw: sore;outspoken,crude(刺痛的;直率的,不加遮掩的)

buttoned-up: tight-mouthed(守口如瓶的)

floodgates: the exit of tears(眼淚的閘門(mén))

haughtily : arrogantly(傲慢地,驕傲地)
 

 
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