Most people, and I was no exception, credit numerous stereotypes about introverts. Yes, they are reserved, sometimes strange and hard to understand, but they are people as well. Moreover, dating an introverted man can have many advantages. So, what should you remember when dating someone who's more withdrawn than you? Here are 7 essential tips for dating an introvert.

大多數(shù)人對(duì)內(nèi)向的人抱有諸多偏見(jiàn)，當(dāng)然我也不例外。沒(méi)錯(cuò)，他們比較沉默，有時(shí)候很奇怪讓人捉摸不透，但其實(shí)他們和我們是一樣的。而且，和內(nèi)向的人約會(huì)也有許多好處。所以，如果你要和一個(gè)比你還沉默寡言的人交往，你應(yīng)該要牢記什么呢？下面是七條與內(nèi)向的人約會(huì)時(shí)的重要建議。

1. Silence isn't a sign of estrangement

沉默不表示有隔閡存在

A different style of communication is the most striking and significant thing about dating an introverted man. When your man isn't asking you questions or isn't joking, most probably he's not interested in you as a woman. With introverted men, it's absolutely different. They talk less, but whenever they say something it's really important to them. Introverts simply don't waste time on silly talk.

和一個(gè)內(nèi)向的男人約會(huì)，最顯著最重要的一點(diǎn)就是不一樣的交流風(fēng)格。要是你的男朋友不問(wèn)你問(wèn)題或者不開(kāi)玩笑，那么很可能他對(duì)身為異性的你不感興趣。但對(duì)內(nèi)向的人來(lái)說(shuō)，情況就截然不同了。他們?cè)捝伲撬麄冋f(shuō)的話(huà)對(duì)他們而言都很重要。內(nèi)向的人只是不會(huì)把時(shí)間浪費(fèi)在說(shuō)蠢話(huà)上。

2. Less violent conflicts

暴力沖突更少

If you're dating an introvert, you will rarely have severe conflicts and fights. Introverts never act and speak rashly. They need a lot of time to reflect on things; therefore their responds are deliberate. Chances are you'll forget about the argument, but your sweetheart can start talking about it in several days. When you really want to settle a conflict, adopt a patient behavior. An excessive pressure will only lead to distrust and resentment.

如果你和內(nèi)向的人交往，你基本上不會(huì)和他們發(fā)生嚴(yán)重的沖突或者爭(zhēng)吵。內(nèi)向的人在言談舉止上從不魯莽沖動(dòng)。他們需要很多時(shí)間去反思事情；因此他們的回應(yīng)是經(jīng)過(guò)深思熟慮的。可能你忘記了你們之間的爭(zhēng)論，但你的心上人幾天后又開(kāi)始舊事重提。如果你真想要解決矛盾，那就耐心一點(diǎn)吧。壓力過(guò)大只會(huì)導(dǎo)致彼此的不信任甚至是厭惡。

3. Your social life will be different

你會(huì)有不一樣的社交生活

Get ready that your spouse will never be the center of attention at a party, during friend gatherings or a party with unknown people. In fact, introverts don't lack communication skills and they aren't anti-social; they just need less time socializing. You should also be ready to spend a great amount of time at home watching films or reading. Spontaneous and unplanned events are highly stressful and unwelcome for introverted people. You won't go out every day, but if your leisure time is properly planned, your guy will be more confident and comfortable.

你得做好準(zhǔn)備，因?yàn)闊o(wú)論是在朋友聚會(huì)或是有陌生人參加的派對(duì)上，你的伴侶可能永遠(yuǎn)都不會(huì)是人們注意的焦點(diǎn)。事實(shí)上，內(nèi)向的人并不缺乏溝通技能，也不是反社會(huì)人士；他們只是不想要花太多的時(shí)間用來(lái)社交。你也要做好另一手準(zhǔn)備——你可能有很多時(shí)間宅在家中看電影或是讀書(shū)。碰上自發(fā)或是他們事先沒(méi)有計(jì)劃好的事情，內(nèi)向的人就會(huì)高度緊張并且產(chǎn)生抗拒的心理。你不會(huì)每天都外出，但是如果你將空閑時(shí)間合理地安排好，你的男朋友就會(huì)感覺(jué)更加自信舒服。

4. Introvert can't be converted into extrovert

內(nèi)向的人無(wú)法變得外向

This is the most common mistake most people make when dealing with introverts. You can't change their temperament and it's no use struggling with their personality. Being pushy is indeed the worst strategy you can choose. You won't stir up your partner by asking him thousand questions or telling jokes. Most probably your man will retreat to save his sanity. You shouldn't urge your partner to do anything or embarrass him, especially in public. It's very hard to change yourself and it's almost impossible to change another person. Remember it.

這是大多數(shù)人在和內(nèi)向的人相處時(shí)最常犯的錯(cuò)誤。你無(wú)法改變他們的性格，和他們的個(gè)性較真也是徒勞。一意孤行是最糟糕的策略。哪怕問(wèn)他上千個(gè)問(wèn)題或是講笑話(huà)你也無(wú)法讓他放得開(kāi)。你的男朋友有可能為了不失去理智而逃避。你不應(yīng)該強(qiáng)迫他做任何事或是讓他尷尬，特別是在公共場(chǎng)合下。請(qǐng)記住：改變自己很難，而要改變另一個(gè)人幾乎是不可能的。

5. They need more me time

他們需要更多自我空間

It always made me frustrated, but I couldn't accept this aspect of our relationship. It doesn't mean I wanted to spend every second with him, but I suffer when I feel lack of attention. Introverts need more time to recharge their strength and energy. Stillness and solitude are essential things they will always need. Thus, don't minimize the importance of me time and try not to take it personally. If you aren't able to adjust to this need, your relationship would be rather disastrous.

這一點(diǎn)總讓我十分懊惱，戀愛(ài)關(guān)系的這方面讓我無(wú)法接受。這并不意味著我想要每時(shí)每刻都和他呆一起，但是當(dāng)我沒(méi)有感受到足夠的關(guān)注時(shí)就感覺(jué)難過(guò)。內(nèi)向的人需要更多的時(shí)間來(lái)補(bǔ)充精力。安靜和孤獨(dú)是他們的必需品。因此，不要忽略自我空間的重要性，盡量避免認(rèn)為這是針對(duì)你個(gè)人的。如果你不能適應(yīng)這種需要，你們的關(guān)系將會(huì)遭受重創(chuàng)。

6. Honesty is a huge plus of being an introvert

誠(chéng)實(shí)是內(nèi)向人士的一大亮點(diǎn)

A great advantage of dating an introvert is that your man will always be honest with you about his feelings and thoughts. Introverts focus their attention on people they are interested in. While extroverts are often superficial and pretended, introverted people say and do exactly what they mean. Don't be afraid that you partner is a player or that he might be cheating on you. If you're dating an introvert, you can be sure you're the only one in his life. Moreover, introverts tend to stay in long-lasting relationships since they're very picky when choosing a girlfriend.

和內(nèi)向的人約會(huì)有一大好處，那就是他總是會(huì)誠(chéng)實(shí)地表明他的感受和想法。內(nèi)向人士將注意力集中在他們感興趣的人身上。外向的人經(jīng)常表現(xiàn)得膚淺和做作，而內(nèi)向人士通常言行一致。不要擔(dān)心你的另一半是個(gè)花花公子或者劈腿。如果你和一個(gè)內(nèi)向的人交往，你完全可以相信你就是他生命中的唯一。另外，內(nèi)向的人的戀愛(ài)關(guān)系通常會(huì)維持得更久，因?yàn)樗麄冞x擇女友的標(biāo)準(zhǔn)非常苛刻。

7. You should show tolerance and indulgence

你要學(xué)會(huì)寬容和遷就對(duì)方

Sometimes it's awfully hard to accept his strangeness and those special needs. It feels difficult to get along with an introvert when you have totally different desires. You want to go to a party, while he tends to stay at home. Or, you're overflowed with emotions and your partner just can't take it. An introvert will never belong to you 100 percent. Introverts seem moody at times because they are utterly introspective and sensitive to their feelings. You should give them a lot of time to process. Remember that a compromise is a pledge of any healthy and long-lasting relationship. Try to understand that your introverted man also makes efforts to handle your relationship, even if you don't notice that.

有時(shí)候他的一些古怪而特殊的需求讓你難以接受。當(dāng)你們的需求截然不同時(shí)，你會(huì)感覺(jué)很難和內(nèi)向的人相處。你想要去參加聚會(huì)但他更愿意待在家。或者，你情緒高漲而你的另一半?yún)s無(wú)動(dòng)于衷。內(nèi)向的人絕不會(huì)完完全全屬于你。有時(shí)他們看上去有點(diǎn)憂(yōu)郁，那是因?yàn)樗麄兒米允　?duì)自己的情緒極為敏感。你應(yīng)該給他們大量的時(shí)間去整理情緒。記住妥協(xié)是使戀愛(ài)關(guān)系健康且持久的保證。試著理解你那個(gè)內(nèi)向的他，雖然你可能并未察覺(jué)到，他也在努力經(jīng)營(yíng)你們的感情。

It's up to you to make your extrovert-introvert relationship comfortable and satisfying. Like any other relationships, it requires great work, common efforts and compromise. Just a little understanding and sacrifice will help your relationship flourish and work out. Remember that love is about accepting but not changing a person.

在這段你外向而他內(nèi)向的戀愛(ài)中，是否能讓它變得舒服且令人滿(mǎn)意取決于你。和其它戀愛(ài)關(guān)系一樣，這需要很多精力，共同的努力和妥協(xié)。只要彼此多一點(diǎn)理解，多做一點(diǎn)犧牲，就有利于經(jīng)營(yíng)你們的關(guān)系，讓其開(kāi)花結(jié)果。記住：愛(ài)是接納一個(gè)人，而非改變一個(gè)人。

（來(lái)源：滬江英語(yǔ) 編輯：劉明）